tag, i’m it!
i got tagged for a meme by @tiltcreations
Tag Rules:
~ Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
~ Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
~ Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their name as well as links to their blog.
~ Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
since i don’t know 7 people with blogs well enough to tag them, i’m gonna tag tweeters! here goes.
- everytime i enroll in school, i end up pregnant. high school = summer. junior college = sydney. sfasu = michael. NO.MOAR.SKOOLZ.FER.MEE!!
- i secretly hope that one day i’ll be a famous tweeter, like dooce, but only 140 characters at a time. hell, she started of with “listening: blahblah”. i just hope i don’t, you know, dooce myself in the process.
- i keep a celebrity “hunch” list. you know, 5 people you could “hunch” and not get in trouble with your spouse? the key is, they get a list too and it has to be people you’d *never* meet. if you meet them, they are automatically off of your list so you can’t hunch them. catch 22, but it’s fun anyway, here goes:. . . ok, i can’t get it to do a list within a list, so, here goes. 1) johnny depp, only if he’s dressed like cap’n jack sparrow, heavy on the eye makeup. 2) heath ledger, uh, you know, alive (that one’s shot to hell now. oh well. rip, heath) 3) john cena, but he couldn’t have that belt thing with him. 4)shepard smith. but with no make up. i emailed him on that one time and he got really pissy. oh well, he’s still hot. 5) joe the plumber, before he turned on mccain. and with no plumber’s crack. 6) brad pitt, and time, any day, preferably with long hair, but that’s not a deal breaker. (brad pitt is so hot, he gets to be number 6 on a 5 item list.)
- let’s see, where were we? oh, list. . . i don’t do things like “SQUEEEE” often, but i just sold my first item on etsy, so, all together now, “SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!”
- i haven’t learned enough from my knitting to write a book about yet, but i have cultivated a modicum of patience. like with children, in knitting if you get pissed and throw it, it just makes things worse.
- my mother wants me to take the mensa test, but if i didn’t get in, i’d die of embarrassment on the spot. melt right down into a grease puddle. i don’t think i’m THAT smart. i think i’m pretty damned smart, but mensa? did you know that means ‘dumb’ in spanish? see! i’m smart. (yeah, see #1)
- OneMoreOneMoreOneMore. . . i’m lactose intolerant. . .
okay so i’m tagging @fairysari @cyndilou @hillarygayle @misshell23 @birdysknits @rosethistlearts and @snarkymama!
memelicious
lifted this from twitterfriend fairysari:
2. Your significant other? couch
3. Your hair? bleh
4. Your mother? helpful
5. Your father? giving
6. Your favorite thing? kids!
7. Your dream last night? phantasmagoria
8. Your favorite drink? cappucino
9. Your dream/goal? MOM!
10. The room you’re in? living
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here!
13. Where were you last night? folks’
14. What you’re not? bored
16. One of your wish list items? iLoad
17. Where you grew up? Texas
18. The last thing you did? ate
19. What are you wearing? pj’s
20. Your TV? FOX
21. Your pet? jude
22. Your computer? dying
23. Your life? chaos
24. Missing someone? brother
26. Your car? lancer
27. Something you’re not wearing? makeup
28. Favorite store? innernets
29. Your summer? gone
30. Last time you laughed? always
31. Last time you cried? sad
32. Your heart? beating
welcome to the 100th post extravaganza
oh crap, i called it an extravaganza so now i have to *do* something. . . crap. here’s what let’s do, i will find an interesting survey and fill it out. then anyone that reads this post between now and thanksgiving, put the survey with your answers in your blog and comment me with a link to it. i will choose randomly from entrants, if there’s only one, YOU WIN!! i’ll send you. . . something knitting related. . . details on what that might be when i see if anyone even reads this post. . .
found on confoozled.com
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
“peel banana, cut into pieces. In blender combine banana, apple, ice. . .” a cook book i bought from my daughter’s school.
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
the stapler. . .
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
a show about people that get into a hot spring and let fish eat their sores *puke*
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
19:55 michael is getting ready to go to bed at 20:00
5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
19:56
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
heater, husband dropping the remote, a show about the civil war, the fish tank water
7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
i got back from taking summer to her dad at about 18:00
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
my blog stats sheet. says that i have 99 posts! w00t
9: What are you wearing?
my pants, undone because i ate too much roast, my dad’s sweater that i ‘borrowed’ when i was at his house the other day without a jacket, and the only pair of new shoes i’ve bought in eons.
10: Did you dream last night?
my husband was leaving my friend’s house. she called me to tell me that he had taken the bait and slept with her. he beeped in to tell me that she had taken the bait and slept with him. i was thrilled that they had both fallen for it. i woke up horrified!
11: When did you last laugh?
during dinner tonight michael told me “eat it cawwot mommy NOWWWW!”
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
a stag my mil drew, an egyptian zodiac drawing my dad brought back from egypt, and a satellite image of gibraltar from space.
13: Seen anything weird lately?
when my cat jumped up into the air to pounce on michael’s toy frog, she clicked all four of her paws together
14: What do you think of this quiz?
. . .
15: What is the last film you saw?
movie? . . . the one where will smith kills everyone on earth and then saves the survivors by sacrificing his life. . . *snore*
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
our house
17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
i am seriously afraid of machinery. i am afraid that i will somehow get caught up in it.
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
people would have sense enough not to do things that are bad for themselves and each other.
19: Do you like to dance?
i used to before i got short for my weight
20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
i think that he always meant well but that he had bad info. . .
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
um, summer. . . that’s her name
22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
my first boy child’s name is michael. . . these last 2 questions sucked. . .
23: Would you ever consider living abroad?
if i had custody of all 3 of my kids, we’d go in a heartbeat!!!
by any other name
too lazy to think of anything else to post, so i lifted this from someone else that was too lazy to come up with anything else.
1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Frances Dewayne
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad)
Juan Walter (does Mexico have a car?)
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Rudawn
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Variegated Spider Monkey
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Willess Nacogdoches
Marie Nacogodoches (depends on what you consider to be my middle name. when i took my husband’s last name on my papers, i moved my maiden name to my middle and dropped the middle i was born with. . .)
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning)
Navy Whisky
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
DaOm
8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
New York Super Fudge Chunk Snickerdoodle (shoot me now, kthnxbai)
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name)
Jude FM3743
10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Kitty FM1798 (hehehe i knew that naming my dog kitty would eventually pay off)
top ten tuesday
saw that the meme for the day is “top ten favorite scary movies”. i DON’T.LIKE.SCARY.MOVIES!!ELEVENTY!!
i do, however, see some humor in my having ocd-like tendencies so i will tell you the ten titles that would scare me:
- The Non-Matched Socks
- My Fingers Landed on the Table Wrong
- It’s 100 Steps to the *trip*, shit, was that 101 or 102?
- My Son Got Ahold of My Row Counter – or – Even though i counted 15 times, i’m not SURE there are 37 rows
- The Puppy Ran Across My Freshly Mopped Floor
- There Is One Cup Minus about 1 Teaspoon Of Sugar in the Tea and I Can TASTE the Difference
- I Accidentally Ate A Brown M&M While There Were Still Colors Left
- The Clasp On My Necklace Won’t Let Me Straighten the Chain Correctly
- My Son’s Carseat Straps are Twisted
- When I Got Up To Answer the Phone, I Lost My ‘Spot’, Now My Butt Feels Weird on the Couch
OH THE HORROR!!!
i know things, bitch
dear wife of my ex boyfriend,
when we end up at the same function because your husband and my friend’s husband are friends and she has to invite you to shit even though she doesn’t like you, don’t talk to me. i don’t like you. maybe that’s not fair, but i don’t. i don’t want to get to know you and then decide if i like you. i just don’t. you have bad taste in men, really bad! i know i lived with him for 2 or 3 years, but i didn’t marry him! i tried to be friendly to you but you get on my nerves. you probably would even if i didn’t want to run over your husband with a lawn mower. i know you don’t understand why i have such a visceral reaction to him, but there are apparently a lot of things you don’t know. like the fact that he has a kid. i found out when he wouldn’t work and i had to get on public assistance to feed him. he didn’t qualify for assistance because he had back child support due. i wish like hell i could remember the kid’s name so i could convince you to name a new puppy that and then follow you home to see his face when you told him. i’d like him to choke on his tongue just a bit. i’ll even buy you the puppy! see what a nice person i am. i haven’t shoved that little pearl of wisdom down your throat yet. i haven’t let it slip any at all. i haven’t asked you “gee did {ass} ever get that child support caught up?” or “hey did {buttmunch} ever decide one way or another on relinquishing his rights to {jr.}? i know he was acting conflicted. i figured he’d knock that out between shacking up with poor unsuspecting women.” i even resisted the urge to stab you with a knitting needle when you kept calling my knitting ‘crochet’. nothing against crochet, but if you used to do it, you should recognize it when you (don’t) see it. and quit looking at my middle kid like you think maybe she is your stepchild. she’s not. she predates my detour through hell know as “years i knew your husband.” i just might take the $1300 he owes me out of your ass if you talk to me again. i don’t care what his sister is doing. i never liked her either. i know his brother is a piece of shit. he always was. i just ask about them to rub it in your face that i am his ex and that you have to be nice to me. i had to be decent to my husband’s ex even after she pulled up in my yard, called me a bitch, and threw pot seeds in my yard. so don’t expect any better treatment from me. circle of life and shit rolls down hill and all that shit. i am usually a pretty nice person, but your husband changed the fabric of my being while i was with him. being with him changed who i was on the inside and i don’t like that. maybe that is somewhat my own fault, but not entirely. now, 7 years later, i am a better person. i like the person i have become and i learned a lot from my relationship with him, but i look on that time through a very dark lens. i’m sorry that i use that lens to focus sunlight on your forehead and try to melt your face off, but if you didn’t come sit next to me and run your incessant mouth, i wouldn’t.
so sayeth judey mcdoodey
dammit, caint figyur owt how to sort out dem pitchers. i was tryin to kil mommeh’s hares. they wer ware i wantit to lae. and she tuk pitchers of her hares diein. then she water and soped me up and i got in that thare warmer. wool? some nawt-kitteh hares? so? ime cold. and wet.
did i learn anything yesterday?
don’t know. today i learned that my cat likes water. i bathe in pieces out of necessity. with a 2 year old, i really don’t like to be indisposed for very long at a stretch. so i was bent over the tub, washing my hair when jude came in and jumped up on the side and started trying to drink out of the faucet. even with the rails that the doors run on, it was only a matter of time before she fell in. and i expected it to look like the tasmanian devil on the bugs bunny cartoons, or like, well, a cat in a bathtub. but she just sat there and started drinking. and drinking. and drinking. water with shampoo in it. so i decided to wash her up a bit while she was there. i washed her and rinsed her. and while i was rinsing (she was clean) she jumped out and flew through the house. i couldn’t do much about it, what with my soaked head and all. when i came out, i found her IN the wool bag i am knitting to felt. IN it. not on it. note: jude is bigger around than the circular needle i knit my bags on. only dropped 2 stitches, so no big there. and it’s for my ex-mother in law, so. . . hehehe. . . ah, well. then she squooshed herself up under the couch. . . with all of the dust bunnies.
catch up on the learning thing
so much for posting often, but y’all knew better. things i have learned since the last post about things i have learned, in no particular order:
- if you don’t take your allergy medicine like it says on the box, you will continue to get sick.
- the dust bowl was more awful than i had ever imagined.
- i’m not above ’student-loathing’. i think i have become a townie.
- my adhd child is capable of an a/b honor roll report card.
- my 13 year old former a/b honor roll child just doesn’t give a shit about her grades anymore. but i hope i can save her education. every other weekend. . .
- my dad really is trying to think more about how what he says affects people. and just the effort means so much to me.
- i might not be able to force my teenager and future teenagers to do what i want them to do, but i can give them the tools to make better decisions when the time for it comes.
GO HOME!
dear students that don’t like Nacogdoches,
GO THE FUCK HOME!
we will NOT miss your:
- driving like old people screw. next time you get in a car, learn how to drive first.
- bitching about how much Nac sucks. if your town is so great GO HOME. oh wait, they didn’t want you so you had to come here.
- wearing your thong over your ears and your pants around your knees.
- ignoring traffic laws while riding bikes. your parents didn’t trust you with a car (see #1) so they sent you with a bike and you STILL CAN’T GET IT RIGHT! get a fucking driver already.
- snarking at us in the coffee shops when we talk while you are ’studying’. if it’s that important, there’s this special place just for you where it can be as quiet as you want it to be. it’s called HOME, er, YOUR DORM. everyone knows that all the kids come here to go to school because sfa is one of the few colleges left that caters to the youngest students, the ones that are a waste of a student loan. the ones that only take enough hours to keep their grants and then bitch about having to actually be present in the classes where the professors take attendance. the ones that buy drugs and clothes with their difference checks. the ones majoring in ‘whore’ and ‘hospitalities’ and ‘my parents are paying for me to go to college so that maybe i will be able to support myself someday’ and ‘drive like shit’.
- going home to spend your difference checks instead of supporting the economy here.
